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10 Tips For Self Care As A Mum

10 Selfcare Tips For Mums

September 10, 2018


So many of us, especially as Mums put self care to the bottom of the list! We make sure everyone else is okay above us.

The issue with that mentality is we can often show up stretched physically, emotionally and mentally. Our ability to cope with the day to day stresses of parenting diminish and we are serving our families from a shouty, exhausted, unfulfilled space. This then starts the cycle of us feeling guilty for not doing more, being more patient and loving etc… therefore creating disharmony and dissatisfaction within ourselves. This can lead to subconscious resentment to our selves and our families!

Imagine a kettle with only a little bit of water in it and switching it to boil. Very quickly the water will boil dry and possibly blow up! This is exactly what is happening when you go into a fresh day of parenting without refilling you cup! Even though you promised yourself last night, that today would be different…you boil through your reservoir quite quickly!

My 10 Tips...

Only you can choose you and it can be simple to implement some self love in your day!

 1. Put boundaries in place to ensure your minimal needs are met.

2. Less is more, look at ways to simplify your life...there is no need for excessive amount of activities if they are causing stress.

 3. Get to bed early!

 4. Delegate chores. Regardless if you do them better! 

 5. Schedule in YOU time just like you commit to kids soccer, find something and commit to it!

 6. Outsource where possible. Get groceries delivered, get the dog walked etc…

 7. Find your tribe and create your village. This was never meant to be a job for one! 

 8. Consider outside help if you don’t have help around. Demi pairs can help in exchange for room and board. Aupairs room, board and a financial exchange 

 9. Ask and allow people to help you!!! I sucked at this big time and the moment I started allowing myself not to have to do it all my life became so much easier!

 10. Start simply! Run a bath, have an early night, take your cuppa back to bed, schedule an afternoon off, let the kids do as many age appropriate morning tasks 

This is a necessity NOT a luxury!!!

Are you feeling overwhelmed, unsupported and ready to blow? I would love to have you join me and a small group of like minded women in October 25-28 in The Hunter Valley. Imagine 3 nights and 4 days just to be you! To soak in the country vibes, yoga, meditation, countryside, unplug, unwind in a safe supported space! Click to find out more

 Well nourished mums, raise well nourished children! 

 Stephanie J Dey

Life and Love Coach - Our Gypsy Adventure                                                                            

Life lover, treehugger and gypsy hearted mother to beautiful Jahla Love

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Switching Gears – Why It’s Needed and How

Switching Gears - Why It's Needed and How

August 13, 2018

Ahhhh this has been a topic for me lately! Since switching to working for myself I struggle and when to switch off…When as entrepreneurs, mumpreneurs or just all round busy working peeps we can sometimes get stuck in that doing energy!!

We wouldn’t drive our car constantly in 1st or 5th we have different gears for a reason! To stop us from blowing up and to slow us down safely before stopping!

The paradox is that I created my own business so I had freedom and time to spend with my loved ones. What I didn’t realize that is when we are passionate about what we do it doesn’t even feel like work! When we are in alignment with our offering it’s easy to just continue 24/7!

The downside to that is that we are now accessible 24/7! Our clients reach out to us, we are inspired to write a blog, make a post or share something all day long! Myabe you have a list as long as your arm of “things to do” and so when we get in this space and all of a sudden the kids are home from school or its time to connect with your partner or enjoy a tech free day, this side of us is hard to switch off!

Unless we do it consciously that is…

There are many ways to access that softening and creating “off” time.

  • Take a moment between each transition to allow yourself to arrive
  • Close your eyes put your hand on your heart and take some deep breaths
  • Actively slow your voice down
  • Become hyper aware of the sounds around you
  • Feel your clothing on your skin
  • Get your feet in the sand/grass/dirt
  • Tell yourself you have arrived to a knew situation
  • Write down what is on your mind so you can be present and know that you can pick it up
  • Switch the phone off
  • Create rules around your accessibility and work hours
  • Only respond in those work hours as a way of teaching your clients that you mean what you say and that you honour them but also yourself
  • Have a warm cup of tea and feel each sip

There is nothing “wrong” with being so passionate about your purpose at all. It’s just striking and creating bo9undaries and balance so that you don’t lose yourself and you reach burnout!!

That is when our passion becomes chore some!!

HAVE YOU ALREADY TRIED THIS AND GET IT TO STICK? IF YOU NEED SUPPORT MOVING THROUGH A BLOCK WITH THIS I AM HAPPY TO HELP

 Much Love and Communication xx

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Dating, Tinder and FOMO…

Dating, Tinder and FOMO...

July 13, 2016

Dating, Tinder and FOMO…


Okay so having been on the single scene for the last 3 years and I’ve had some time to reflect on my experiences and what I have had my eyes opened to. In my late teens and twenties I never struggled to get a boyfriend (I struggled immensely to be on my own though) and actually in some instances spent time dodging clingy, obsessive kinds of guys. You would go to a party meet a cute guy exchange numbers, go on a few dates and voila boyfriend! Or go down the pub where people actually still talked instead of sitting on their phones and guys would actually still approach you in a bar to talk. Back then you had shiz in common because you had all been filtered through a fairly similar middle class, mind numbing schooling system. For the most part we hadn’t travelled extensively, overcome major adversity or thought much further out of the box than we had been “trained” to. I mean when I was a teen my life plan was to be married at 21 and have my kids by 25…I didn’t really think there was another option, but am so glad I found one 😉

Flash forward to 2016 after 3 years of singledom, getting to a point I am happy on my own and now being open to something more. I have been left quite disillusioned by the world’s current state of dating affairs! Apps like Tinder have blown all previous semi-serious dating sites out of the window. Everyone is on there! To the point I don’t know if I know people from my day to day life or if I have seen their Tinder pics…the local Barista, bar man, kids school teacher you name it! Initially as a single mum I was quite open to the app, I am all for multi-tasking, I can be cooking dinner/parenting whilst having an intermittent convo online whilst getting to know someone - this would be ideal in a perfect world but the app fast got a reputation for being a hook up site.
After sifting through the flakers, fakers and pretenders for someone “genuine”, I continued on and off with strings of dates where we had nothing in common or even worse thought we had an amazing connection and spark maybe even shared a nice end of the night kiss, followed by their “I hope you got home safely” gentlemanly message then…crickets! It’s exhausting opening up, sharing for hours on end about each of your lives to then not even have a second date.

After speaking to other girlfriends they confirmed similar experiences, so it’s not just me. It is almost like it has created a fast-food dating culture and even less commitment than ever. I mean we can’t commit to where we may be next week let alone an entire relationship! We have been re-schooled in “going with the flow” in recent years and letting go of the incessant control we thought necessary from our parents generation, which I think is super important but there needs to be like in everything - balance. We are already seeing our generation full of “boys/girls” posing as adults that are flaky as f@*#, the eternal Peter Pans full of FOMO. “What if the next swipe is better ,hotter, richer, smarter…fill in the blank”. Are we making for an era of unsatisfied people that are craving connection - but none ever quite comes up to par with ridiculous expectations we now hold for our potential suitors. An era where benching (where we keep people on the bench just incase) and ghosting (never to be seen again) is the norm and a good morning text is seen as the height of chivalry?

Are we so focused on ourselves and our own journey (myself included) that we cut ourselves off from the possibilities? We are a generation that won’t settle and nor should we, but at the same time have our lists of “dealbreakers” become so ridiculous that they are totally unachievable for any human to feat?

I have a new appreciation for the honesty in those profiles that are as blunt as “DTF” or “only here for fun”. I can then choose to swipe right by or match (a girl has needs too and lets face it I am not swiping a dude with a shirtless gym selfie as boyfie material!)
So I tried “getting out there” and actually going to bars, events etc…not only are they loud, expensive, entice me to drink too much and allow me to think I can dance like I am Beyoncé, but gone are the days where men will actually approach you. Have we all become so insecure that we cannot connect or communicate with the absence of an emoji or two? I hear you say “Well why not approach them?” Well, to me it kind of sets up the way the rest of a relationship will go with me always having to make the decisions, take the lead and end up nagging (ick there is nothing I hate more) and I so don’t want to be your mother!

I do realise that there are love stories from such apps and I don’t deny it is handy, likewise for the random nights out…but I have decided that I am taking a small stand in reversing the fast-food of dating, letting the magic reappear, continuing to enjoy my life and letting it all unfold as it should and taking a hiatus from my dating apps…who is with me?


What are your experiences? I would love to hear…have I just become cynical?



Namaste xx

#ourgypsyadventure #dating #love #onlinedating #soulmate #tinder #ghosting #fomo #hookups #theone

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Anxiety And How To F$@# It Off…

Anxiety and How to F$@# It Off…

July 29, 2016

We are currently sunning ourselves in the laid back suburb of Perigian Springs, Sunshine Coast. We have spent a few days settling in at my Mother In Law Sue’s or Jahla’s Tina! (Samoan for grandmother)…It is so lovely to be relaxed in the sunshine and have a second pair of hands with Jahla, some company AND some awesome home cooked meals! We are here for the next few weeks and Sue is so excited for Jahla to be here that it allows me the opportunity to have a few days off here and there 🙂

I decided to take advantage of the offer and book an Air BnB near Kangaroo Point in South Brisbane. I was extremely lucky and nabbed a great place on the river and it was the only 2 days for the entire month it was available! As I hit the road I didn’t feel the excitement/relief of freedom from parenting that I thought I was going to and have had in the past. A strange feeling swept over me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. I tried my best to keep in the present moment cranked the tunes and let in some fresh air.

I enjoyed my first night in Brisbane and spent the next day in the salon splurging on a total hair make over! I LOVE my new hair and through 6 degrees of separation the hairdresser and I knew all the same people from Perth! I must say I relaxed into the feeling of not being rushed and skipping the blow-dry to rush to get J. That night I caught up with Chantel my old flatmate from 9 years ago and we had such a great girlie catchup, it was like we had never been apart - even though our lives had taken us in totally different directions.

The next day this feeling of unease had grown…I was really “trying” to figure out where this feeling with stemming from, it was frustrating me and I kept analysing where this feeling of unease was coming from. For those that don’t know me, you may be surprised to know that I have suffered with anxiety for years. Everyone gets affected in different ways but for me I pace, shallow breath, sweat, catastrophize life as I know it and get severe nausea. This is something I have suffered with since my early teens and have had it effect me in varying ways over the years, sometimes I can talk myself out of it in a few minutes/hours but sometimes it can literally cripple me for days/weeks. Its like I know it’s irrational but something in my brain wants to cling onto the fear of uncertainty replay/relive/catastrophize every single thought/action/reaction. For the few that know me to the deepest darkest corners of my brain - Thankyou. These few people have repeatedly been my saviour and managed to drag me out from my despair. In particular my best friend Candice who has known me since we were 11- I love you!! Seriously there for me through thick and thin x

Being on the road is amazing and being the flow and trusting the unknown has a magical beauty but like everything the uncertainty and instability of life on the road can trigger insecurity and anxiety. In this case separating from Jahla triggered the anxiety of the unknown.

In the past I have masked my anxiety with drugs/alcohol/food and extreme exercise, but over the years have found better coping mechanisms. I hadn’t had an attack like this in awhile and so I searched my bag of tricks for pulling myself out of the funk!


TOP TIPS FOR BEATING ANXIETY…

1. Allowing the feeling to be. For so long I tried to fight the feeling, wishing I felt happy, calm, relaxed, but if what you resist persists - wishing it to be anything other than what is fights the feeling causing more discontent. Take a breath allow the the anxiety to be there in its fullness and watch it dissipate.

2. Focus on bringing attention back to the breath, slow it down.

3. Get Outside!! It will be the absolute last thing you feel like doing. Your brain will tell you not to. The anxious brain is smart and wants to keep you frozen in fear so it will try keep you from doing things that will make you feel better.

4. Phone a friend!! Phone someone that knows you well and knows exactly how to get you out of the funk without allowing/enabling you to indulge further.

5. Catastrophize the situation to the ridiculous!!! Im talking about taking anxiety about a situation to the most far out ridiculous outcome that could never happen - it allows you to see how ridiculous stressing about it is.

6. Meet a friend for a herbal tea/water and a good chat.

7. Avoid sugar, junk, caffeine, drugs, alcohol as these can exacerbate the feelings

8. Read or watch a light hearted movie or comedy!

9. Exercise moderately, drink plenty of water and get some sleep.

10. Yoga/Meditation

In this case I went to the movies, switched my focus from trying not to be anxious and on the drive home from Brissy cranked some feel good tunes with the window down!! I marvelled at the sunset and could once again enjoy the feeling of the unknown!

By the time I returned up the coast, I was more than ready to see J. I felt refreshed, anxiety free and ready to rock 🙂

Do you have any tips to add for beating anxiety?? I would love to have them in my tool belt xxx


We are relaxing here until the next leg of our adventure in Europe!!

#anxiety #beatanxiety #toptips #ourgypsyadventure #dealing

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Nude Yoga Has A Lot To Answer For…

Nude Yoga Has A Lot To Answer For…

June 30, 2016

Like empowering women to love themselves!!

So this was going to start out as a simple review of my recent experience at Rosie Rees’ Nude Yoga Class. It turns out that a lot more has come to surface than expected.

When I started flicking through the few shots I had from the evening. Straight away I said to myself “eew I can’t post that!” My boobs look droopy, I have that post 30 padding on my tummy, I’ve gained a few kg and I haven’t done my hair or makeup! A lot of you that know me or have met me may be thinking what the f@#!? I am 5’10, DD and a size 10. Most of you may jump straight to “oh, shut up! There is nothing of you!”. I know a lot of “thin” or “fit” women that are instantly slammed if they have an insecurities about their body, simply because they do not fall in the category of being noticeably overweight. I don’t think that our weight/shape/height/bra size should make our insecurities any less valid than anyone else’s. What I want to explore here is why these insecurities are formed and how we can learn to embrace ourselves. Maybe through sharing my journey it will resonate with some of you.

So instead of post the better pic or airbrushing it I decided to delve in to where this view of myself stemmed from. For me it began in my early teens, I had always been tall, thin and told I should get into modelling - so like most young girls my eyes lit up at the thought of fame and I entered Dolly magazine comps, went to catwalk lessons and from there it developed into castings, TV ads and parades. The castings is where it all started to go horribly wrong for me. I mean I was a young impressionable girl that was sat in a room with dozens of gorgeous girls. I wasn’t that self assured as a teen as I was kind of a goofball and definitely no Little Miss A team. Immediately I would start to look around the room and kind of “place” myself on where I thought I stood on the scale of prettiness. She was more tanned, she had better hair, she had that European look…If I didn’t get a job or call back instead of knowing there were loads of girls and one position available I would start to self criticize, self judge, self hate, take it personally and look for ways to improve my look. Straighteners, self tan, trying on a million outfits until I found the one that made me look “the skinniest”.

I remember being the agency one day and the booker took my measurements and said “if you want to get serious about this you need to drop a few centimetres off your waist and hips”. I was in my early twenties at this stage so had grown a few curves in places and for the first time really had to be concerned about my size. On the way home I called a PT with a goal and a deadline!! Well to say I became obsessed was an understatement. At the time my Dad was terminally ill and during the process passed away. As a form of controlling something in my life I began to count calories, gym twice a day, food log, miss out on socialising, to the point I threw a plate at my then boyfriend for eating junk in front of me! I would panic if I went over my “allowed” intake for the day and was a certifiable crazy (at least thats how I felt). In the end after a few months of dedication I went back in for another measuring. I was so proud to have met the standard measurements - I couldn’t wait for the booker to give me some praise. When he measured me all he said was “you could do with losing just a couple more!” A couple more? He had to be kidding me, right? I was devastated, exhausted, hungry and emotionally unstable. I had also decided that top models didn’t have large breasts so I ended up getting a breast reduction at the age of 21 and I have never openly admittted this but I got liposuction on that bit of belly under my belly button to remove the tiny amount of excess that was there! Definitely not an industry for the insecure and lets face it your late teens/early twenties are not your most confident! Well they sure weren’t mine!

That same week aside from wanting to punch my booker in the throat I also missed out on a job that regularly booked me as they had said I had gotten far too thin!!! That’s when the penny dropped that the right jobs will come my way regardless. I was then living in Sydney as a swimwear model but got most of my modelling work when I moved to Dubai where they actually celebrated my curves!! With doing a lot more print work and photoshoots though it really warped my perception of how I actually looked in real life. A lot of the images are super airbrushed and edited so that you look flawless. Any hint of a bump/lump or frump is simply swept away like it never existed. When you continually see yourself in this unachievable perfection and it doesn’t compare with what you see in the mirror it can also bring on a mini identity crisis. How you see yourself becomes very warped and this is coming from someone who knew what the go was. For women out there that are consistently holding themselves ransom to the comparison of a fully edited airbrushed shot - I beg you not to.

Let’s learn to love and embrace your body exactly how it is. Screw the media and beauty industry selling and telling us we should be or look a certain way to be beautiful, just so they can make an extra gazillion dollars. It’s the only way we can teach our daughters to embrace themselves, we are the role models. Let’s tell our daughters that as well as pretty they a strong, they are smart, they are capable, they are worthy so that when they grow they don’t base there entire self worth on how they look. I reach out to you to spread the message to all women that they are beautiful and they are enough. You are beautiful and you are enough…let’s lend each other a hand, have eachother’s backs, empower one another, pick a sister up instead of pushing them down and end the segregation of our fellow Divine Feminine because together we can make a difference.

Admitting all this out loud is my first step to fully embracing the Inner Goddess and actually maybe even believing it. Although I am not obsessing about my weight or measurements these days, the thing I can measure is my happiness and sense of self and I have never felt more at home in my own skin. This new level of unravelling and empowerment began from attending Rosie’s Nude Yoga Class so check out my review xxx

This is a beautiful video in relation xxx


#nudeyoga #selfperception #rosierees #selfworth #selflove #realwomen #reality #screwbeautyindustry #blusimaimmune #togetherweconquer #vulnerability #teachourgirls

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Today…

Today...

June 29, 2016

Today I awake with the best intentions.

Today I plan to have smoothies full of hidden veggies and nutrients to be sure you are getting all you need. (She hated it)

Today I plan a water competition so I can ensure we both stayed hydrated.

Today we say what we are grateful for.

Today we step out the door and in 3 seconds flat are whining about walking.

Today we get to the shops and you start moaning about "needing" cake.

Today I order you a sugar filled babycino just so I can enjoy mine in peace.

Today half way through breakfast you need a pee and the closest toilet is ages away and we had already discussed before we left the house.

Today before midday I am frazzled, out of patience and am passive aggressively trying to teach you to be patient (ah the irony!).

Today you managed to complain about needing or wanting 5 things simultaneously.

Today I am blocking out your whinging from the other room so I can have 5 minutes to vent, fb numb and sort my s#@! out.

This afternoon we will start over again with the best intentions, a fresh page and try again. I will try my best again and again, over and over forever and always because when we get that balance right it makes it all worth it.

Today I will spend my "timeout" googling parenting articles that I will love the idea of and only manage to implement half of the time.

I will do my best to raise you in a way that you don't need to spend the rest of your life in "recovery" from. (Although I may need some recovery from these early years)

Today you tell me you love me and I burst with pride.

Today you astound me with your brains and talent.

Today you blow me away with your generosity and creativity.

Today you snuggle into to my arms.

Today you smile at me in a way that everything else is forgotten.

You are my heart and my life and I will be here for you forever and always and I will always try my best. I love you 😘😘😘



#consciousparenting #ourgypsyadventure #stephaniedey #parentlife #singlemum #singlemom #travel #wanderlust #honest #truth #positiveparenting #jahlalove

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Dengue sucks balls…

Dengue sucks balls...

June 24, 2016

Yep you heard me and no, not the fun foreplay kind. I have been to Bali so many times before and rarely had a second thought about getting ill aside from the occasional dose of mild Bali Belly. This trip was no different I had planned to head over and complete my 200 hour yoga teacher training and had had this planned for some time so my ex hubby had the same time off to come and have some time with Jahla in a villa nearby. Also a mini holiday either side of the training was definitely in order!

I had an absolutely amazing time in Ubud prior. to my teacher training with my friends Nat, Erin and of course Jahla! We soaked up the sun, did yoga, ate good food, had massages and even attended some ecstatic dance parties. Bliss! I felt calm and rested when it came time to set my mind to being back in a classroom for 200 hours! After the first week one of the girls fell ill with Dengue Fever. I felt bad for her and whilst we were all concerned for her had absolutely no idea how bad it was, I also had no idea how prevalent Dengue was in Bali and that it was common for groups/families people in close quarters with one another to contract it from the same mosquito or another mosquito biting and infected person and sharing the “love”. Due to the 4-10 incubation period it means that people can be unaware they are infected and therefore making the spread quickly and silently.

Katja was the first of many to fall victim to this painful virus in total about 8 people got it in our circle, myself included. If you have a good immune system and it is your first time having Dengue it may just feel like a body flu/fever and after a few days you will be back on your feet. If you are immune compromised or have had a different strain of the virus prior it can be quite a painful week with the after effects lasting weeks to months!

I started to feel really flat and a little heat stroked and achy on the friday afternoon. I thought this was due to the combination of having an osteopathic adjustment and spending a lot of time on my scooter in the midday sun. The next morning I went to my asana class and could only do a few poses without feeling like I needed to lie down again. I headed back to my room to sleep and thats when the severe body/headache and fever (it is also nicknamed “breakbone disease”). Again I thought it was just a bit of being rundown or heatstroke so took some panadol drank plenty of water and elecrotlytes. by the afternoon my roommate Jon came back feeling the same and the owner of the guesthouse took one look at us and told us to get to the hospital to check our blood for the virus.

We had our bloods taken and confirmed both to have Dengue! Jon got to head home as his blood platelet level was high enough but mine had dropped lower and were easier to monitor from in hospital. Thank god for good insurance is all I can say! I spent the next 4 days isolated in a foreign country hospital feeling so sorry for myself haha. The girl in the next beds boyfriend bought me chocolate which I am to this moment grateful for. I also had a visit from Thia one of the facilitators of the yoga course and my room mate which more than brightened my day. The thing you don’t get told is that a low platelet count can cause depression. Now that I understand this it all makes total sense as I was super emotional, feeling lonely and simultaneously bickering with my ex…It was like having PMS on steroids! They told me I could go home if I had a raise in my platelet count which didn’t happen and I literally burst into a sobbing/blubbering child!

Also you should know that it is the day time mosquitoes the Aedes or Tiger ones that carry the virus. Don’t worry though as not EVERY one carries it and in my many, many times to Africa, Nepal, Bali, Thailand, Pakistan I have never had any kind of illness like this so it was bound to happen sooner or later! With all the amazing experiences of travelling you occasionally have to experience the less amazing!

WHAT CAN YOU DO TO PREVENT IT?
- Keep covered at dawn and dusk
- Stay in places that spray the grounds for mosquitos
- Avoid stagnant water areas
- Use mosquito repellent
- Take B1 vitamins
- Be healthy keep good immune system
- Drink Papaya Leaf Juice (its full of vit c, b, d and is bitter so acts as an internal repellant as they don’t like the taste of it in your blood)
- Keep fan/AC on at night as they don’t like the cold/wind
- Use nets around beds and cots

WHAT TO DO IF YOU THINK YOU HAVE IT OR DO HAVE IT?
- When you start to feel ill with body/head/eye ache, fever, lethargy, rash get your bloods checked by a doctor (especially if you have had it before)
- Have a good diet plenty of fresh juices, coconuts, veg, soup, wheatgrass
- Papaya Leaf Juice - as much as you can stomach!
- REST, REST, REST
- Keep an eye on your blood platelet level with a doctor
- Keep an eye out for any bruising, bleeding, dangerously low platelets, bleeding gums as it could develop into dengue hemorrhagic fever.
- Meditation
- Panadol
- Movies and cuddles!

So after my short stint inside (hospital) I rejoined the outside world and still had quite a bit of fatigue so I ordered bottles of Papaya Leaf and Guava Juice from Pressed Juice Factory - Kerobokan and it worked almost instantly to boost my energy levels. Check my review on the health benefits of Papaya Leaf here.

I also went and saw Kirsten Swales a naturopath from Urban Remedies who chatted with me and gave me some great advice on how to rebuild my immune system whilst travelling and living on the road. Check my review here.

So as dramatic as I made it all sound, I indeed lived to tell the tale. Was it enough to scare the shit out of me? Yes. Was it enough to deter me from further tropical travel? NO!! I accept the ups and the downs of exploring this wonderful world!

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Are You Spreading Yourself Too Thin?

Are You Spreading Yourself Too Thin?

May 12, 2016

Spreading Yourself Too Thin??

Hi All! I have been a little quiet with the blog lately as I am 10 days deep into my 200 hour yoga teacher training in Bali! They call it an intensive course for a reason! I may not have quite been as mentally prepared as I could have been coming into this course (is an understatement ha!) So this will be a quick post on whats been triggered for me and I am sure a lot of you can relate big time.

I am extremely lucky to have my ex husband in town who has Jahla at a villa nearby for me so that I can still see her sometimes. This is actually a lot more difficult than I anticipated. Jahla can’t understand why I can only see her for a rushed lunch or quick breakfast so it is quite upsetting for us both when we separate after those short meetings. The days are also long (12 hours) and crammed with things to remember which is both exciting, overwhelming and draining at the same time. This rushing in my downtime has actually left me with very little downtime. I also dropped the ball with one of my best friends from age 11 I was so stuck in my own world and what was happening for me that I failed to notice that she needed me to be there to speak to and that I in fact needed to connect with her too.

It got me to thinking about how we all have a tendency nowadays to spread ourselves too thin. By taking on too much or promising too much, not saying no when we need to or not prioritising what or where we need to be. Are we really and truly being of service to anyone? By dropping the ball, doing things in a frazzled, mindless state where we are more prone to make mistakes or have accidents. Or just not really being able to be present, as if we actually just focus on the task at hand are too afraid that we will drop all of the other balls we are juggling at the same time.

Today was an emotional day for me anyway as I am tired, overwhelmed, missing Jahla and hitting myself with the mum guilts hardcore! I got to the villa to visit J at lunch and she was asleep. I really had to look at the situation, my emotional state and made the decision to not go in for the next lecture. I spent time with her eating lunch, cuddling on the couch, reading her favourite book…it was amazing and I felt like a different person for the rest of the afternoon! It just sent me that reminder that we can’t do it all and nor should are we expected to by anyone other than ourselves. All it took was 2 hours to drop everything and just be there with her and give her my undivided attention and loads of cuddles to change the course of the day, week and who knows what else!
This is a reminder to all of you to take the pressure off, prioritise, delegate where possible, communicate what you can and can’t take on – even if that changes from your initial word. People are more supportive and understanding than you think! Unwind and put your feet up! You deserve it from time to time.

Namaste xxx

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Gypsy Sisters

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Pat On The Back

Pat On The Back

April 20, 2016

Self congratulation…

How often do you stop and reflect on a period of time passed, an event or project and say a huge CONGRATULATIONS!! YOU ROCK!! I think it is such an important thing that we are lacking in this day and age! I am currently learning to do this more often…it’s something I think we should all do way more of! We are so quick to redirect a compliment, to point out what didn’t “go well”, to harshly criticise/over analyse everything we do (or is it just me?? haha) I am very proud to update that my “camp smarts” are on the rise! Previously clueless to anything outdoorsy or camping related I am taking a moment to pat myself on the back!

Just a few months ago I could not imagine the possibility of camping with no showers, toilets, cooking facilities, power or dare I say it…phone reception! Gasp!! I am not in the least bit surprised that I have been nicknamed Princess on more than one occasion thus far. A lot of these apparent “necessities” were due to not knowing any better, this all changed for me when I hit New Zealand. Jahla and I travelled with a friend of mine that lived in a tiny home inside a trailer he towed. We all attended Kiwi Burn festival in the tiny home for 5 days. It had a small kitchen, big bed and storage all the basics for comfortable livingzs – glamping at its best. I began to pick up bits of knowledge on what foods last well out of the fridge, how to cook with the basics and even boiling water to have a little bird bath to freshen up. (We also bathed in fresh rivers which was amazing). No there were no 12 volt adapters to run my hairdryer from the car socket…don’t think I haven’t entertained the possibility

Then when Jahla went out to her Dad, I travelled with another friend that I met at Kiwi Burn. We had a van with a mattress in the back, 2 chairs, cooking utensils, camp stove and a table. These few basics and we were eating like royalty! Probably the healthiest I have eaten on the road so far. I also learned about free camping through the use of apps! I had only known about camping in expensive caravan parks full of city slickers previous to this. Free camping is full of other backpackers, pensioners and other families on long term travel around Oz and NZ and just such a different friendlier vibe I find. We had been lucky enough to have not done much camping prior to this discovery…The apps are Campermate in NZ and Wikicamps in Australia. They have filters, links to websites and reviews from people who have actually been to these camps. If there is not a free camp in the area you can set the filter for all campsites and more options will come up. I have been trying to stick to free sites for obvious reasons! Ahhh life before apps and google, how did we survive?

Our basic setup has evolved to include a little camp stove which makes life so much easier and we have been getting creative with the basics! Also just buying little amounts of food at a time and eating it until its gone is a great tip! We tend to be spoiled for choice in the western world and expect a different cuisine for each meal, so getting back to basics is nice. We are in the process of getting the framework for a bed made for the back of the car and roof racks to throw all the gear up on. This will open up opportunities to sleep in the car as some free campsites don’t have space for tents. It is also sometimes a pain to set/pack up in the rain. I have also learned to make a little fire
I have become thrifty on the best days to fill up petrol, collect vouchers, eat from the specials board, be prepared for meals/snacks, stock up in bigger towns (small ones can be extortionate).

Finding ways for Jahla to be part of as much as possible, helping with setting up the tent, helping cooking/meal prep whilst weaving some “hidden” school work among it. I recently hit a waiver in my confidence around my parenting style…we hit some frustrating challenges on both sides, it seemed every approach I took was not “working”. This really shook my confidence to the core and Jahla could sense she was running rings around me it felt. I contacted a counsellor and expressed my concerns and we are working on ways to move forward and she congratulated me for what was working, which is always a confidence boost! Where I was only able to see prior to this session my shortcomings.

So all in all I am very chuffed with everything I have been learning about this lifestyle, my daughter, my own strengths and weaknesses. Also I am pretty stoked at crossing The Nullarbor It was nowhere near as scary as I thought but can give it a big tick off the bucket list!

What have you achieved lately? Have you ever stopped to take stock on how far you have come? You are awesome so send yourself some LOVE!!!

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When The Kids Go To Bed

When The Kids Go To Bed

March 26, 2016

When the kids go to bed…

So this is a massive grey area for single parents, I call them the lonely hours. What do we do when the kids are finally asleep? Regardless of your situation, be it traveling, working a 9 to 5 or being a stay at home parent.

For me, I usually like to find some outlets that I enjoy like writing, pottering about (it’s a legit hobby), a new tv series, reading. But in those same hours I can also feel the inevitable creep of loneliness. I do not crave for my party days, I do not crave being at the coolest “hangouts”…I do crave human interaction. I feel most of us seek this in some kind of online interaction. Facebook, Tinder, Instagram and other forms of online media.

Days like today I feel it the most. I see endless posts of people with their families and loved ones. Yes! I do appreciate the fact and am forever grateful that I have got to spend yet another splendid day of ups and downs in the land of parenting a toddler – it does however bring up the mourning for the loss of my family unit. It brings about the question of “Will I ever have “it” again?”.

After 3 years of living the single dating momma lifestyle is there really a person that will “fit” our lifestyle? Don’t get me wrong I am not in the slightest bit needy for a relationship or I would have settled for the first dimwit that showed interest . It is not hard to get a boyfriend or a date for that matter. What I am talking about is substance…Someone that is willing to do the work, to have radical honesty with and someone that is logistically and mentally headed in the same direction.

I crave such intimacy and human touch in these hours. I don’t want to go clubbing – I want to sit in the yard and look at the stars. I want to discuss deeply – anything and everything. I want a brother in arms and a soul sister all in one.

I know that everything appears when you are ready for it and I am really “trying” to be patient. Something phenomenal is worth the wait. I just want to provide for my daughter everything I had imagined for her and more. She is getting to that point in her life where I feel a loving real-lationship and a steady male role model would be of great value to her.

I also have a slight issue of when I do get close to someone I push them away! How’s that for nuts? Yep, I clam up at the fear of being hurt again. My ego puffs up and tells me we are fine on our own! I don’t need no man (haha). Yes whilst it may be true I don’t need no man – I long for someone that will meet me heart to heart, soul to soul and be ready to work, someone that sees my running yet stays anyway, someone that is as in to me as I him.

Where do I meet such a person? I don’t know…Maybe this is my letter to the universe?!
To my readers who feel the same. I see you, I hear you, I feel you xxx


Would I change it? Nah!!!!

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Gypsy Sisters

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