Like empowering women to love themselves!!
So this was going to start out as a simple review of my recent experience at Rosie Rees’ Nude Yoga Class. It turns out that a lot more has come to surface than expected.
When I started flicking through the few shots I had from the evening. Straight away I said to myself “eew I can’t post that!” My boobs look droopy, I have that post 30 padding on my tummy, I’ve gained a few kg and I haven’t done my hair or makeup! A lot of you that know me or have met me may be thinking what the f@#!? I am 5’10, DD and a size 10. Most of you may jump straight to “oh, shut up! There is nothing of you!”. I know a lot of “thin” or “fit” women that are instantly slammed if they have an insecurities about their body, simply because they do not fall in the category of being noticeably overweight. I don’t think that our weight/shape/height/bra size should make our insecurities any less valid than anyone else’s. What I want to explore here is why these insecurities are formed and how we can learn to embrace ourselves. Maybe through sharing my journey it will resonate with some of you.
So instead of post the better pic or airbrushing it I decided to delve in to where this view of myself stemmed from. For me it began in my early teens, I had always been tall, thin and told I should get into modelling - so like most young girls my eyes lit up at the thought of fame and I entered Dolly magazine comps, went to catwalk lessons and from there it developed into castings, TV ads and parades. The castings is where it all started to go horribly wrong for me. I mean I was a young impressionable girl that was sat in a room with dozens of gorgeous girls. I wasn’t that self assured as a teen as I was kind of a goofball and definitely no Little Miss A team. Immediately I would start to look around the room and kind of “place” myself on where I thought I stood on the scale of prettiness. She was more tanned, she had better hair, she had that European look…If I didn’t get a job or call back instead of knowing there were loads of girls and one position available I would start to self criticize, self judge, self hate, take it personally and look for ways to improve my look. Straighteners, self tan, trying on a million outfits until I found the one that made me look “the skinniest”.
I remember being the agency one day and the booker took my measurements and said “if you want to get serious about this you need to drop a few centimetres off your waist and hips”. I was in my early twenties at this stage so had grown a few curves in places and for the first time really had to be concerned about my size. On the way home I called a PT with a goal and a deadline!! Well to say I became obsessed was an understatement. At the time my Dad was terminally ill and during the process passed away. As a form of controlling something in my life I began to count calories, gym twice a day, food log, miss out on socialising, to the point I threw a plate at my then boyfriend for eating junk in front of me! I would panic if I went over my “allowed” intake for the day and was a certifiable crazy (at least thats how I felt). In the end after a few months of dedication I went back in for another measuring. I was so proud to have met the standard measurements - I couldn’t wait for the booker to give me some praise. When he measured me all he said was “you could do with losing just a couple more!” A couple more? He had to be kidding me, right? I was devastated, exhausted, hungry and emotionally unstable. I had also decided that top models didn’t have large breasts so I ended up getting a breast reduction at the age of 21 and I have never openly admittted this but I got liposuction on that bit of belly under my belly button to remove the tiny amount of excess that was there! Definitely not an industry for the insecure and lets face it your late teens/early twenties are not your most confident! Well they sure weren’t mine!
That same week aside from wanting to punch my booker in the throat I also missed out on a job that regularly booked me as they had said I had gotten far too thin!!! That’s when the penny dropped that the right jobs will come my way regardless. I was then living in Sydney as a swimwear model but got most of my modelling work when I moved to Dubai where they actually celebrated my curves!! With doing a lot more print work and photoshoots though it really warped my perception of how I actually looked in real life. A lot of the images are super airbrushed and edited so that you look flawless. Any hint of a bump/lump or frump is simply swept away like it never existed. When you continually see yourself in this unachievable perfection and it doesn’t compare with what you see in the mirror it can also bring on a mini identity crisis. How you see yourself becomes very warped and this is coming from someone who knew what the go was. For women out there that are consistently holding themselves ransom to the comparison of a fully edited airbrushed shot - I beg you not to.
Let’s learn to love and embrace your body exactly how it is. Screw the media and beauty industry selling and telling us we should be or look a certain way to be beautiful, just so they can make an extra gazillion dollars. It’s the only way we can teach our daughters to embrace themselves, we are the role models. Let’s tell our daughters that as well as pretty they a strong, they are smart, they are capable, they are worthy so that when they grow they don’t base there entire self worth on how they look. I reach out to you to spread the message to all women that they are beautiful and they are enough. You are beautiful and you are enough…let’s lend each other a hand, have eachother’s backs, empower one another, pick a sister up instead of pushing them down and end the segregation of our fellow Divine Feminine because together we can make a difference.
Admitting all this out loud is my first step to fully embracing the Inner Goddess and actually maybe even believing it. Although I am not obsessing about my weight or measurements these days, the thing I can measure is my happiness and sense of self and I have never felt more at home in my own skin. This new level of unravelling and empowerment began from attending Rosie’s Nude Yoga Class so check out my review xxx
This is a beautiful video in relation xxx
#nudeyoga #selfperception #rosierees #selfworth #selflove #realwomen #reality #screwbeautyindustry #blusimaimmune #togetherweconquer #vulnerability #teachourgirls
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